hateiness

I don't hate many things. If I would start listing all the things that I do not hate, we would be here all day. I presume that you read blogs because Atlantic Monthly articles are too long for you. It would then seem to behoove me to write short (impossible) and sweet (maybe) about what I hate, as that list is much the shorter. I do want to say before my hate list starts that I really like hating whatever I like.

I hate this guy:

You might think this is pretty obvious. And I agree. Patty the punk tv entertainer probably likes this as well. Which obviously makes us like him even less. My problem is that over the years I have acquired friends of various persuasions. My circumstances force me to have a broad spectrum of friends. I like Muslims, Christians, Jews, I like Gays & Breeders, Nationals of all kinds, I dont hate on the occasional polyamourus person that comes along, and if you like to eat female (because of the tasty eggy sack still attached) roasted cockroaches for breakfast I don't hold it against you either.

For this reason I have become less confrontational and more accepting of people's bullshit. In fact, one could say, that more people have deigned to accept me, because I am more willing to not make a big deal out of whether they like to eat male or female cockroaches.

At this point I must apologize to all of you who I have been misleading in this fashion. I hate being a liar more than not having any friends. I still can't stand assholes like the Patty the pounk above, and it still taints everyone else who prays to the same god. Which ergo makes me not such a big fan of you either. Now, if you would go out and tell Patty to shut his silly trap, that would be something else. But somehow I don't hear the Christian outcry happening in this case. Even though usually it is pretty hard not to hear the bullhorns of some coalition against gay happiness, or against any other subject that touches their moral little hearts even though it never touches their lives.

And if you think, fine, go ahead and hate me. I'll just do the same. Then you are mistaken. You do not have the right to do so. And I will not turn the other cheek. The reason why you don't have the right while I do, is simple. So simple that even your blinded bible-studying behind can understand it: When is the last time you had an atheist go on TV and say "All the Christians of the world should starve to death and deserve every natural disaster that happens to them, because those people went out and made a deal with Jesus". Oh, you want another one? When is the last time that an atheist went out and bombed and/or shot up a "Mothers Coalition contra pro choice"? OK, one more. When is the last time that an atheist went out, strapped some of Herr Nobel's fine invention to his cojones and blew up a bunch of people at a coffee shop because that would make him a martyr and deliver a a bunch of sexual rookies to his heavenly abode?

I am not holding the Crusades against you. Neither am I bringing up the Spanish Inquisition. To hold up either of these things is so Dawkins. No, I am only looking for the here and now. If you find just one instance I will change my hate allegiance over to your side and start hating everybody that Patty the punk likes to hate. I'll even donate to his Haitian children kidnapping/molestation/proselyting (hand)relief fund. Otherwise please start using your church donation purse to buy stamps for letters to the 700 club to let them know that not all of you are nuts like he is, and that you would like to keep your unbeliever friends around, which he makes very hard, and so please could he just STFU?