October 30, 2007
My top 10 reasons for Stephen Colbert as President of South Carolina:
10.) Really, do we need to have any reasons to vote for this guy?
9.) The next time a comedian goes on TV and gets the guys from Crossfire fired it could be the Prez himself.
8.) Nacho Cheese Doritos
7.) Second best interviewer after John Stewart. Maybe this way the leader of the free world can actually hold a conversation with the rest of the leaders of the free world. Instead of just trying to look like they are having a good time together.
6.) 1.200.000 Friends on Facebook
5.) "I, Stephen Colbert, do hereby pledge to practice absinth-tinence by remaining absinth-tinent from Absinthe . . . Since Absinthe incidents in many instances induce incipient synesthetic inspiration and sinister synthetic insistence on sin, I sincerely insist I will be absent from instances of Absinthe ingestion, this instant".
If you can say this really fast, you can run this country better then most current runners-for-the-presidency.
4.) ~4200 new voter registrations since putting a link up on Facebook, thats 1 voter a minute. Maybe soon 53 percent in the great state of South Carolina go vote.
3.) The other guys didn't think that he was who they thought he was. They let him off the hook!
2.) Vice President: John Stewart
1.) He is funnier then W, and he does it on purposery.
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Only days after announcing his intention to run for president of the United States, Stephen Colbert seems to be in hot water. According to staffers working inside the fledgling campaign who spoke with Bob McCarty Writes™ on condition of anonymity, the host of Comedy Central's The Colbert Report is being investigated by Immigration and Customs Enforcement.
ReplyDeleteColbert is alleged to have secretly hired hundreds of illegal immigrants from Mexico to make so-called "get out the vote" phone calls to likely voters in South Carolina -- the only state where he plans to campaign as both a Democrat and Republican candidate. In exchange for working up to 20 hours a day in the sweatshop-like conditions of a suburban Charleston call center, sources said the White House wannabe is paying his "south of the border" staffers with bags of Doritos® Brand Tortilla Chips, the corporate sponsor of his presidential campaign effort.
Attempts to reach Colbert or a representative of his campaign through a post on his web site's message board have, to this point, been unsuccessful.