Recently I came across a truly disgusting piece of news. Apparently, Chiquita, of the famed yellow fruit, has been paying a ton of money to bandits in Colombia who have been designated a Terrorist Group by the US State Department in 2001. The EU also considers the AUC a terrorist group (I only add this to lend credibility to the US designation). These payments and alleged small arms shipments (with this I will deal later) occurred from 1997 until 2004 when Chiquita sold their subsidiary in Colombia. Chiquita buys product from that former subsidiary to this day.
The only reason why I know about this is because I have the time to read the NY Times and the geekiness to have it fed to my Treo via Avantgo (good looking out Stamos). Other then that I am not aware of any of this reaching the discerning US consumer. It would seem that it is a rather important piece of news that a US company is buying automatic weapons for a lefty terrorist group that, who woulda thunk? finances its adventures in kidnapping, torture and murder with drug trafficking to the tune of 70 % (their internal estimate).
AUC possesses the unholy trinity of being communist, druggies and terrorists. You rightly ask, as do I, what more does a group have to do to get on our shitlist? Apparently a lot more, because none of the big business media conglomerates seem to think that it warrants any attention that Chiquita was recently sued to the tune of $7.86 billion by the little guys who found themselves at the business end of a Chiquita financed AK-47. The peasants in the jungles finally figured out how to work the US system:
Chu gotta have some mula,
chu gotta have great abogados,
and chu gotta have time, lots of time
If you don’t have any of those you better have a good PR company. If you can’t afford that you need some bloggers to blog your case to the world and tell people to stop buying Chiquita bananas and stop investing in Chiquita equities. And you need to tell this particular blogger only once to do just that. To all you fat cats and big hats I pose these questions: “How dare you make money of sponsors of terrorists, torturers and murderers? What are you going to do next, invest in Halliburton?”
Your Supreme Being bless Global Warming. Maybe soon these multinationals will bite the dust, because that will be all that is left off the tropics if we do not realize we can not let them do their nasty business anymore because their petrol footprint is too large for this world.
Until that time please:
- Ask what brand bananas are in your blended beverage
- Check the brand you buy in the store
- Ask your store about their Ethylene Banana Ripening Room
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